MOODY MONDAY-Wednesday Edition

Sheesh! I've been slacking on Mondays. I got home from my trip to Idaho Monday afternoon and Moody Monday never even crossed my mind. I'm at a 4 pink today. I'm feeling some guilt over all the time off that I've had from my family, and just trying to get back into being the mom. I had a great time in Idaho with Emily! I definitely didn't need to get all worked up about the weather and driving in the snow. Eleven degree weather wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Emily did great on her audition, and now we are just waiting to see what kind of scholarships she can get. Thank you babe for taking care of the kids so we could go on this trip.

I went to the PPD support group yesterday, and we did art therapy. We were asked to bring pictures of us before our postpartum struggles and after postpartum set in. We used our pictures to make a collage. Through drawing we were to try and express how we were feeling during these different times in our lives. This was the picture that I used when I drew how I was feeling after the PPOCD set in.

This picture was taken about 3 months after it all started.I felt a lot of anxiety as I worked around this picture. I drew a black jagged edge filled in with the color red around the picture. I felt like I was turning into a monster back then. Every image that played in my mind was black and red. Almost demon like. I can't begin to describe the terror that I felt. When I look into my eyes in this picture I see a lot of pain and fear. I have come so far and am feeling so much better, but when I think about this time in my life I get extremely anxious. I'm hoping that through doing the EMDR we will be able to make this time seem not quite so bad.

This is another picture that I used to show a time when I felt like I was really happy. I was pregnant with my daughter in this picture. There is a year and four month difference between this picture and the other one. I can see the difference in my eyes. I was loving my baby boy while cooking my baby girl and I couldn't have been happier. I drew yellow squiggly lines around this picture. Yellow because you know why, and squiggly lines because it was a little crazy taking care of a baby while trying to take care of my pregnant needs.

This last picture is just of the collage itself. It's not done. We are going to continue to add to it. The first picture on there is of me and my husband. I was 3 months pregnant with our first son. While this was a happy time too I was puking my brains out 5 times a day and didn't feel the need to show you a close up of it :)

Anyways I need to go pick up my boys from school. I hope you are having a great week. See ya on Monday or whatever day it is ;)