MOODY MONDAY

I saw my therapist this morning. I love how direct she is with me. Today she said that she isn't going to blow sunshine up my butt just to make me feel better. She said we have to deal with reality. Growing up reality was avoided in my house. There was always a big elephant in the room that never got discussed. It's still that way with my family. She pointed out that I have had more anxiety and depression since our last appointment where we talked about the reality of me having another child. I want everything to be unicorns and rainbows, and I don't want to deal with the fear and all the what ifs of having another baby. I have been avoiding my feelings by being tired and wanting to sleep my life away. I have allowed small things that have bothered me turn into big depressing things. Like my weight. I have gained over 25#'s since starting on the meds just over a year ago :( Instead of dealing with it and doing things like exercise, and eating healthier, I've let myself get depressed over it and I've listened to a lot of negative self talk. Blah Blah Blah. I'm tired of getting stuck in these old behavior patterns. It's time for me to really make some changes in my life. I have lots of great plans for myself once school starts up again. For now I will just enjoy having my kids home for the next couple of weeks. Oh and despite the anxiety and depression my mood has been yellow today! Have a great week!