Sad day

So yesterday I went to group and found out that one of the other moms tried to take her own life over the weekend. My heart breaks for my friend. We shared our stories together at the training last week and it was just to much for her to handle. She wasn't ready. I wish there was something that I could say that would make her feel better. Sometimes I feel like I should be able to save the universe and yesterday was one of those days. It caused me a lot of sadness and anxiety knowing that I have no control over the universe and that the only person I can really save is myself. I started to doubt whether or not I should be telling my story. In sharing my story I want to help other women, but I feel like maybe my story is more discouraging than encouraging. Especially for someone who is suffering they probably don't want to hear that I have been struggling for five years. I started to blame myself for my friends actions. I had to call my therapist to process through my thoughts. She was like REALLY you want to take that on yourself it has absolutely nothing to do with you. I could hear her eyes rolling over the phone. I knew that my thoughts were irrational. I think that what was happening for me was that I was having normal sad feelings and I just didn't know what to do with them. Feelings are not my specialty:) Anyways I'm feeling better today although I am a little anxious because my husband is going to be talking to my therapist tonight on the phone. I'm realizing that for the past year it has been all about me, and maybe now it is time to be about us as a couple. I think it would be good for us to have some sessions together. If there is one thing that I learned at the training it is that perinatal mood disorders affect the entire family, not just the mom. I feel lucky that my husband is willing and wants to talk about his experience. I think it will be good for both of us. Have a great day!