4 pink I'm feeling mixed emotions around here. Any confidence that I had in my ability to have another child is gone. I have a lot to work on. I'm thankful for my therapist and husband who push and challenge me. I will not just jump off my meds and get pregnant like I did last time. I will take things slow. I will make sure I'm in a good place. I've been doing good, but I need more stability under my belt. I need to make sure I want to have a baby for all the right reasons. I wish I wasn't so anxious and confused. If just the thought of having a baby makes me feel this way, than what would an actual baby do to me? This needs to be a happy choice, and all I feel right now is scared. I need to work on BEING a mom to the kids I already have. I need to set all this baby talk aside for now and just focus on me and my family.
Lots of changes are coming up next month. My sister is moving out :( We are all very sad about this, but hopefully it will be a good change for everyone. Also all of my children will be starting school. I'm going to have a lot of me time. I need to set some goals and have a plan to help me stay busy or else I can tell you right now my moods will not be pretty. Well I need to get off the computer and do some domestic things like dishes and make dinner. Have a great week!
2 comments:
At least you're in the positive half of the numbers. :)
Thank you so much for emailing my friend and talking to her.
I've been thinking about you and the "baby" a lot lately. I'm sorry that you are having mixed emotions, but I agree that it has to be a slow process and you and Rob need to both be at a place where you want to try for another for all of the right reasons. I'm so glad you have such a good therapist, having a baby is HARD no matter what, so making sure it is the right time/best for you family is so so important.
Let me know if you ever need a baby to cuddle with;) Or...maybe that makes it harder, but either way, I'm always here to talk or just listen!You are amazing, I hope you know that!
Post a Comment