The first day of school was a success. I did shed a few tears sending them all off, otherwise I had a fantastic day with my husband who took the day off so we could spend our anniversary together. Love you babe!
Last week was rough for me. I struggled with intrusive thoughts and anxiety. I heard of a girl in my area that committed suicide and it really hit home even though I didn't know her. We were the same age, had the same number of children, same faith, and she had postpartum psychosis. It just makes me wonder what her story was. Was she getting help for it? Did she have someone to talk to? Then the superhero in me that wants to save everyone comes out and I wonder what I can do so that this doesn't happen again. I don't have an answer, but I'm willing to figure it out. I've got lots of time on my hands : )
Went to therapy with my hubby last Friday. We talked about how I almost always attach a negative meaning to everything that happens in my life. Like when my son told the psychologist that I never go with them to Grandma's house to go swimming. All I heard was I'm a bad mom, and I was sure that that was what the psychologist was thinking too. My therapist said how bout you look at it this way. Your husband wants to spend quality time with his children and give you a little break from the kids, and shame on the psychologist if she did judge you. You are a great mom! My therapist asked where are you at because I was giving her a blank look. I told her I was upset with myself for not having this concept figured out yet. She was like oh brother and really!???? She said it's not about perfection! She then asked what I would write on my blog next and I said that I would write that my therapist yelled at me and she threw her head back yelling to the heavens always gotta be a victim! I can see how my thinking is more on the pessimistic side and with the help of my husband we are going to challenge those negative views. Having said that I will think positively and score my mood at 2 Green. not quite yellow but feeling much better than last week. Have a great week!
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