One more month

The NP is giving me one more month to pull my stuff together. I told her that I just wasn't willing to go back on the med yet. She said she is confident that I can do this, but I need to be confident in myself. I promised to call her if it keeps getting worse. She also brought up ADD again and I was like hello we have talked about this before and you put me on that medicine and it did horrible things to me no thank you. Besides the idea is for me to come off the meds not add new ones. She agreed.

I had a meltdown on Wednesday. I've had high anxiety for over a week, and it got worse with trying to do my homework assignment. I called my therapist crying like a baby. I said I don't think I can do this homework. I'm not in a good place right now with trying to come off the med. She said don't do the homework. Then we talked about what my plan was going to be. I can't just sit at home and wallow in my stuff. She said get out of the house, go walk around Target, do something to nurture and take care of yourself. Walking around Target was the last thing I wanted to do, but I did agree to call my friend Crystal for some support. I called Crystal still crying and she offered to come over for a visit. So that was nice and it helped me to calm down. Yesterday was a little bit better. I had to force myself out of the house. I was literally sick to my stomach leaving the house. I went to the mall for some retail therapy and then I went and got a pedicure. Usually those things are fun for me to do, but yesterday it was just hard. I never would have thought that I would have to force myself to shop and get a pedicure. Today has been a lot better. I worked out which I haven't done in over a week, and then I got to babysit three of my nephews. One of which is a sweet little baby. Well they are all sweet, but it was nice to get some baby love.

Anyways I feel like I'm getting stronger each day, so I'm thankful for that. I know I can do it! Have a great weekend!