Things are going really good with the new therapist. The last time I went we started EMDR. One of the first parts of EMDR is creating a safe place in your mind where you can go when you start to feel like you are going to freak out. I tried EMDR with the last therapist but I wasn't able to ever really find my safe place so we never continued on with EMDR. I hear EMDR can be stressful because you revisit the unpleasant things that have happened in your life so it's important to have a safe place. When my son went to therapy for the trauma he had associated with the break in he did EMDR and it worked for him. I had to really create my own place that felt safe to me. I started with just being in the mountains surrounded by pine trees and the sounds and smells that go along with being there. Then my therapist had me put on some headphones and hold these little buzzers one in each hand. I would hear a tone in my ear and feel a buzz in my hand. Left side then right. It would go back and forth. I was in charge of the speed and volume. My therapist talked while this was going on. She talked about my safe place. My job was to focus and just try to be in my safe place. After a few minutes she would turn off the noise and buzzing and we would talk about what thoughts and feelings were popping into my mind. My safe place would change a little with each little session until I truly felt safe. It has evolved even more since then. Because I am so visual and I like to be creative I made a collage of my safe place. It's a combination of a lot of things. This place only exists in my head and no one else can be there without my permission. Anyways I don't quite know how to describe EMDR or how it works and you are probably thinking it sounds like a bunch of voodoo, so google it if you want more information.
And since I am working on my sexuality I thought I'd share a couple of sites that have been helpful for me. Growing up LDS you are taught that sex is a sacred beautiful thing that is reserved for after marriage. You go from no no no to yes yes yes. No one ever tells you about the yes part. Ya there are some LDS books on intimacy you can read but those are all pretty bland and didn't answer my questions. Over the last couple of months I came across a couple of blogs written by LDS therapists. ldsmarriagebed.blogspot.com and patheos.com. On the patheos website search for mormon therapist and all of her posts will come up. If you have questions about sex and you are like me and you don't want to actually have to talk to someone about it these are a couple of great sites to go to.
