FEELINGS

So I need to get in touch with my feelings. I'm really good at not feeling anything. It's just easier to stay numb than to experience the highs and lows. I associate having feelings with not being in control, and my therapist says that is completely not true. She also said that we are going to have a problem if I can't change the way I think about feelings. It's a personal choice I am going to have to make. Am I going to trust my therapist to guide me out of this hole, or am I going to stay stuck because I am afraid of getting hurt again. My assignment is to stay present and be mindful of what is happening inside and outside of me. I also need to keep a journal where I keep track of my feelings by answering the following questions.

1. What am I feeling?
2. What are the contributing factors to the feeling?
3. On a scale of 1-10 how intense is the feeling?
4. Where in my body is the feeling?
5. What color is the feeling?

For example right now I feel miserable. I haven't felt good for a couple of days. There are a lot of things that I should be doing, but instead I have been laying in bed all day. I give it a 7 on intensity. I feel it in my back and the color is brown.

Well that one was easy. It's not hard to know how you feel when you are sick. I have a feeling this will be one of my harder assignments. Especially since most of the time I don't know what I'm feeling. Wish me luck.