MOODY MONDAY

2 green Everyone seems to have recovered from the flu in our house, and we were able to have a wonderful Christmas weekend. I see the NP tomorrow for some medication tweeking. She put me on a new anti-anxiety med the last time I saw her, and I didn't handle it very well. I had an increase in violent pictures playing in my mind, and a strong desire to feel physical pain. People around me could tell that something wasn't right, and I didn't feel like me, so I quit taking it. I'm feeling much better. End of story.

I'm a new aunt again. I just got a new nephew and a niece, with two more on the way. I'm excited for all these new babies, but I'm sad at the same time that it's not me having the baby. I know I'm not ready, but I wonder if I will ever be ready. I wish I could tell the future. What would having a baby do to me? Would the PPOCD come back? The NP talks real positively about me having another baby, but when I bring it up with my therapist she asks me if I would consider adoption. I'm just confused and I shouldn't even be thinking about all this right now, but it's hard when I'm surrounded by it. Anyways enough of that.

I'm looking forward to this week. My husband has the whole week off from work, so I'm excited for some alone time with him. Have a great week and a Happy New Year!