Monday, April 18, 2011

MOODY MONDAY

9 gray Turns out I'm just not compatible with certain medications. I'm really quite angry that I've had this big setback. I was doing so well, and now I'm fighting like crazy just to keep my head above water. I'm tired. I spoke to my therapist on Tuesday and I will see her in 2 days. I saw the NP on Thursday and we are switching around some meds and she also recommended that I check myself into a behavioral health hospital for 5 days to make sure I'm safe. When she asked me if I would like her to put me in the hospital, inside my head I was screaming yes, but I just shook my head no. What about my family, my husband? Who would watch the kids? What would people think about me? That would be a lot of money! I think that I am strong enough to not do anything stupid. I'm just sooooo tired of fighting. I've come so far. I can't stop fighting now, and I won't! This is just a bump in the road. Things will smoothe out and I will be fine. Until then I'll just keep hanging on. I can do this!

3 comments:

michelle parker said...

julie im sure you have tons of help from your sisters and friends, but if you ever need ANYTHING i would love to help. i can take kids for a day or bring dinner or whatever you need! i will be praying for you! love you

Betsy said...

I, too suffer from anxiety, depression, PPD...this whole "monster".

I stumbled upon your blog while selfishly looking for others like me so I felt more, "normal." THANK YOU for being you. Thank you for putting yourself out there, in this cyber world.

I care about you. I am cheering for you.

Betsy

Kendra said...

Stay strong! I know you can do it. At least you know now what you can't take and have a better idea of what else to try. You can make it through this. And please, call anyone. I know lots of people are more than willing to help. I would if I was there but unfortunately can't.